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Kiki is pissed off..... But she isn't going to do anything about it.... - Sept. 01, 2007
I dont need a sign to tell me you are being an ass! - Jun. 12, 2007
Under new management - GET OVER IT!! - Dec. 16, 2006
Watch out world - we have arrived!! - Nov. 08, 2006
Return of the Martini.... - Oct. 10, 2006

Kiki is pissed off..... But she isn't going to do anything about it....

Sept. 01, 2007 - 12:10 p.m.

As you all know, my least favourite part of Barland has to be complaint handling. If someone told me they would take over all complaint handling duties if I took over all removal of drunks duties I'd sign up quicker than you can say "I'd like to speak to the manager...!"

It's not the complaint as such that I dislike so passionately. Complaints (constructive ones) are useful, as they help you see where you are going wrong and fix things. It's the way people complain that hacks me off. And there are many, many different ways....

There's anger management man, who�s reaction is normally ridiculously over the top for the complaint in question. Think red face, shouting, banging fists and spitting, all because you have sold out of fish of the day. Basically he has had a really crappy day at work, and if one more teeny tiny, inconsequential thing goes wrong for him, he is going to take it out on the nearest person to him, normally a member of the service industry....

Then there is the "first timer" (yeah right!!) "I'm sorry, I don't usually like to complain, but...." Actually, you complained last week that you didn't like the shape of your wine glass. And the week before because you didn't realise the 20 minute wait on food was going to actually mean 20 minutes, and before that.....

Then of course you have the down and out liars. The most common complaints from these guys usually include "I've been waiting at least an hour," "This wine doesn't taste right," and "last time I was here someone told me I was allowed to smoke inside/ bring in my own booze/ buy alcohol for my underage girlfriend..." Of course in reality the ticket in the kitchen states they have actually been waiting 15 minutes, there is nothing wrong with the wine they have just ordered one they have never heard of before, and needless to say no one told the last offender they were allowed to publically flout the law in our establishment!

There are numerous others too, the people who are never happy even after you have put right whatever has gone wrong. The people who turn round and complain loudly to the person next to them at the bar instead of to someone who might actually do something about it. The people who try to make you feel small because they are certain they really do know much, much more than you. The people who make you feel like you have actually ruined their lives because there aren't any tables left next to windows. The people who complain about facts of life - i.e. more people = longer waiting times, less space and the possibility of having to wait to get in - as if it is something you can control... The list is endless. But there is one kind of moaner that I hate above all....

There are a scary amount of people who will whinge whinge whinge to their hearts content about how rubbish your pub is - but not to you. When they visit they are sweetness and light. They smile, say hello, make conversation, and when you ask if everything is to their satisfaction they say "yes, lovely thanks!" Then what do they do? They go off and tell all their mates it was crap. They might even write a letter to head office in the hopes of getting freebies. In rare cases, exceptionally sad people with too much time on their hands might start up a group on a social networking site calling other to boycott! But do they actually boycott? Hell no. As much as they apparently despise your establishment, they still come in. EVERY SINGLE DAY!! And not once do they mention any of their grievances to the management!

So Kiki readers, the point of my rant is this. If you are not satisfied with your experience somewhere, by all means complain. Complaining in a mature, polite and amiable manner will most likely see your problem sorted out as quickly and efficiently as possible. However, if you don't feel you have the guts to complain, why say anything at all? What is the point in moaning if you aren't going to receive any compensation? Try actually telling someone in charge how you feel and they might actually try to change things for the better!! Failing all else, if you really hate the place so much that you feel the need to slander it on the internet, perhaps it is time you took your "boycott" more seriously, and started to drink elsewhere.... Just and idea.... Kiki x

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