Jun. 12, 2007 - 6:03 p.m.

Yippee! Two weeks to go until the smoking ban and Kiki is very excited!! Not only will I not have to clean ashtrays anymore - or for that matter go home smelling of one - there will be no more petty rows about smoking in the non-smoking area. Let me re-phrase that. There will be plenty of rows. But the only winner will be me, and anyone who disagrees will be swiftly ejected from the premises. Or even better, should the right person be watching at the time, landed with a hefty fine!

I have always found governing the imaginary borders of smoking and non-smoking areas tedious. I am damn tired of telling someone they cannot smoke at the bar only to have them hold the cigarette behind thier backs, as if that makes a difference. I am sick to death of having customers make a huge, sarcastic display of walking three steps or so back into the smoking area when they have strayed out of it. Why do people talk to me as if I'm being really unreasonable for protecting the rights of my non-smoking customers? It's not favouritism. If a non-smoker strolled into the smoking area and started mouthing off about thier right to breathe smoke free air, i would tell them this; our pub is split 50:50, if you don't want to breathe thier smoke, go back to the smoke free half and stop whining. The fact is this has never happened. In the 7 years I have worked in this industry I am yet to meet a NS who puposefully ignores smoking and non-smoking segregation because they feel they have the right to free reign of the entire pub. Yet on a daily basis I meet smokers who tell me they will smoke where they damn well please, and who am I to tell them otherwise?

The response when asked to move or stub it out, however, that irritates me the most, is also probably the most common. "Well, I don't see a sign that tells me I can't smoke here!" Really? Well there aren't any signs saying you can't steal, rape or murder either, but that doesn't mean you can do it!! I'm not rude when I ask people not to smoke, so surely the correct answer would be "I'm so sorry, I didn't realise, could you possibly show me where I can smoke?" Of course most offenders know damn well they can't smoke there, they are just being downright rude.

This attitude is all too common in todays society. People are just not willing to make judgements on what is acceptable behaviour, or accept responsibility for such behaviour, by themselves. Are we so stupid that we need signs everywhere to tell us what is right and wrong? Are we not capable of just knowing what constitutes as good old fashioned common sense? Apparently not. According to the paper my father and I were reading over coffee today, the government now wants warnings to be placed on wine bottles and in bars, stating the dangers of drinking excessively. People have known for years that smoking could kill them, but do the signs of the packets make them stop? Hell no! We already promote responsible drinking. We already refuse to serve people who have had enough. Unfortunately, the people who need telling they are damaging thier health actually already know, and are going to do it anyway. It is a good idea to educate people about the dangers of binge drinking, but placing a huge sign above the bar that reads "WARNING - THAT BOTTLE OF WINE COULD KILL!" is not the way forward, and it certainly doesn't make a relaxing ambiance for those of us that are perfectly capable of enjoying a social drink with friends without going overboard. There is even talk of bartenders having to verbally warn customers whenever they purchase alcohol. What next? When a larger person does thier weekly shop will the cashier be required to say "Now, you do know that if you keep eating this much you may get heart disease, don't you?". When I buy some new razors in Boots will I be told, "Using these to cut yourself may cause you injury" There will always be people out there who choose to abuse things made to enjoyed in moderation. The rest of us should surely be trusted to make educated decisions, and accept responsibility when those decisions go wrong, without needing a giant sign to back us up.

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Kiki Martini in no way advocates drink driving, binge drinking or anti social drunken behaviour. Drink responsibly kids!